急惊风

Ashenden suffered from that distressing malady known as train fever: an hour before his train was due he began to have apprehensions lest he should miss it; he was impatient with the porters who would never bring his luggage down from his room in time and he could not understand why the hotel bus cut it so fine; a block in the street would drive him frenzy and the languid movements of the station porters infuriate him. The whole world seemed in a horrid plot to delay him; people got in his way as he passed through the barriers; others, a long string of them, were at the ticket-office getting tickets for other trains than his and they counted their change with exasperating care; his luggage took an interminable time to register; and then if he was travelling with friends they would go to buy newspapes, or would take a walk along the platform, and he was certain they would be left behind, they would stop to talk to a casual stranger or suddenly be seized with a desire to telephone and dissapear at a run. In fact the universe conspired to make him miss every train he wanted to take and he was not happy unless he was a good half hour to spare. Sometimes by arriving at the station too soon he had caught an earlier train than the one he had meant to, but that was nerve-racking and caused him all the anguish of very nearly missing it.

摘自W. Somerset Maugham- The Hairless Mexican in Collected Short Stories Volume 3

跟人约好七点，我六点半就在现场了，也不敢走得太远去逛，逛时也心不在焉，怕那人来了，错过。
明知所有的晚宴都会迟开半到一小时，自己还是早到，宁愿等。等。等。
傻？
不，改不了，遇上慢郎中我就特别紧张，老是催促：快点快点，要来不及了。
虽然不可能来不及的，但我就喜欢从容抵达目的地，从容喘一口气，安顿好情绪，才安心。
就是紧张。