与老人家聊天，总会牵出他们心中的石头，有轻有重，都牢牢地沉在心里。有一种石头老得让年轻人不屑一顾，甚至一提起就要别过脸，心烦，渐渐地，老人家这块石头就像个肿瘤，越长越大，慢慢侵蚀他们的健康。
这块石头也不怎么特别，尤其是适龄，未成亲，未有对象的都清楚它长得什么模样。老人家为什么最爱提起这种孩子的终身大事呢？这事，对年轻人来说可是私事呢，成亲，一辈子的幸福，岂能像老一辈那样盲婚哑嫁，岂能像过去那样单纯十几二十就成亲，又岂是一定非要成亲不可？
时代不一样了。
老人家不会明白的。为什么？
倒不是他们不明白，而是他们太爱孩子了。
将孩子生养抚育成人，自己渐渐垂暮，明知道跟时间岁月作战，输定的，难免担忧：
我们能陪你到何时？
虽然你已成人，能独立养活自己，一辈子不愁吃喝，可是我们老了，你在外面受苦受累，还能回来家里爸爸妈妈的身边，我们一直等着你，不管你飞得多远多高，这里有我们。但是，孩子，我们老了，不能陪你到永远，心里总是感到亏欠，感到不安，感到难过，只希望有个人，我们可以信赖他，在我们有生之年将你交给他，请他代我们照顾你，孩子，这是我们最后的心愿了。
可是，多少子女都不了解。
有的以为父母怕输，有的以为父母嫌弃他们，也许父母嘴里说的不是那么中听，人一着急，哪还能说动听的话？
孩子心里也怨父母不了解他们，不了解缘分这种东西，不了解成家的负担，不了解一切为难处，不是不要成家，找到适合对象太难了，难道要相亲么？
是，孩子自有苦衷，作父母的一定懂。只是他们不放弃，他们要在有生之年，看着心肝宝贝好好地找到一个伴，像他们那样疼爱着他。
20 December, 2006
06 December, 2006
放牧
几乎所有商场都设有儿童游乐场，为讨父母高兴。父母亲进入商场如入宝山，哎呀，到处都是闪闪发亮的宝藏啊，不抱个满怀，真对自己不住。这时，身边的小孩就突然显得有点碍手碍脚，还好还好，有儿童游乐场也，去，kakak，快带他们去那边玩，我们一下子就回来。
于是领命的女佣就顺从指示将孩子放牧到画好的草地上，与另一批游牧孩子一起胡闹。不过，也有家长轮流领孩子去，为的是让另一个自由刮宝；只见这片草地上，撒满各式各样的小人儿，有的猴子放归山上一样，有的像企鹅跌跌撞撞，有的根本就是呆头鹅站过一旁，哭笑混在一起产生高分贝，总之就是一个小大人的社会。
别看都是小孩子，什么天真烂漫？大欺小，强吃弱，照旧上演。小孩的性格，脾气和待人接物的态度，很多都是向父母学来的。只要在那里站一站，就会知道哪个小孩比较文静，哪个比较有礼，哪个是小霸王，当然顺道送来许多陌生家长的性格，小孩欺负小孩，哪个家长笑咪咪，哪个家长赶紧赔不是......
儿童游乐场，你看到许多女佣尽责的身影，有时比父母还要爱那个小孩，你也能看到很多父母，不耐烦地双手交叉胸前，催促孩子快点，最后一次了云云。改天你经过这块草地，看看有没有熟悉的自己。
03 December, 2006
二缺一，三缺一，不管了
说现在的父母少生养，一两个孩子平常得很。照理，孩子少，所获得的关注应该相应提高才是，比不得旧时人家，孩子是以打计算，这些孩子生逢盛世，样样具备，真是福气。关注是很多，但是谁在关注？
很多时候，一家三口周休二日一起出门去，乐也融融，仔细一看，孩子长得真像爸爸，慢点，这个牵孩子小手的可不是他妈妈哦，是女佣。女佣成了半个女主人，周末陪孩子和爸爸逛街培养亲子关系，孩子哭了，要kakak。妈妈去了哪里？谁管？也许上spa，也许乘周末与好友相约上咖啡馆，难得休假，宠宠自己去，反正爸爸孩子都不喜欢shopping，有女佣看着，放心啦。
有时候，孩子病了，带孩子上诊所看医生的不是孩子的爸爸妈妈，是爸爸妈妈的爹娘。看着孙子一把鼻涕，眼睛泪汪汪，祖孙都静默，啊，作爷爷的也疼你啊，你就乖乖等着爸爸应酬回来，妈妈到国外出差去，晚上再打电话给你，你要乖哦。
儿童游乐场就在组屋楼下，你跟姐姐下去玩，叫kakak陪你们去。于是两姐弟下楼去,kakak百般无聊呆坐长凳上“监视”。星期一到星期六都没见过爸爸妈妈下楼来，以为星期天总有缘见到他们的真面目了，结果，还是两姐弟下楼来，后面跟着脸皮发臭的kakak。
多么奇妙的组合啊。女佣在一个家庭里成了不可或缺的一分子，带出厅堂的是她，入得厨房的也是她。现在的孩子有时候并不那么幸福呢，他们不知道一年到头见父母几次面，不晓得有过几分钟对话，甚至怀疑见父母是不是应该要向他的秘书预约？唯一守在身边的是那个领了薪水不离不弃的kakak。
孩子真正要什么？父母是不是要认真思考。
30 November, 2006
勇于说“不要”
“妈妈抱不动你咯，换爸爸抱，好吗？”
“不要。”
“妈妈头痛。”
“不要。”
“爸爸戴你下楼gaigai，妈妈在家休息。”
“不要。”
“爸爸帮你换尿片。”
“不要。”
“爸爸给你potty。”
“不要。”
“要妈妈。”
王菲--你快乐所以我快乐
动力火车--你快乐所以我快乐
版本不同。
快乐有时轻柔，有时接近呐喊。
都是快乐，两个人的快乐。
p/s：假如你有心/不小心掉进了蚂蚁窝，觉得这里还可以，那蚂蚁也会很快乐。
“不要。”
“妈妈头痛。”
“不要。”
“爸爸戴你下楼gaigai，妈妈在家休息。”
“不要。”
“爸爸帮你换尿片。”
“不要。”
“爸爸给你potty。”
“不要。”
“要妈妈。”
王菲--你快乐所以我快乐
动力火车--你快乐所以我快乐
版本不同。
快乐有时轻柔，有时接近呐喊。
都是快乐，两个人的快乐。
p/s：假如你有心/不小心掉进了蚂蚁窝，觉得这里还可以，那蚂蚁也会很快乐。
28 November, 2006
一场告白
To my married and unmarried friends:
This is a very touching story, please read it slowly, ....
When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms
On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.
This was the scene ten years ago.
The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.
Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.
Dew came into my life.
It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.
Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.
Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.
I moved Dew's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.
However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.
Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.
One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.
When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.
Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.
When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.
Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.
She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.
She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.
I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.
On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vague.
On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this.
I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.
Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.
I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life lacked intimacy.
I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious.
She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.
When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.
这篇是朋友转载的，通常朋友不会无故转载来我邮箱，就顺着指示慢慢地读。慢慢地读下来，就会不一样，因为体会是很个人的事。想起生活中，多少细节多少埋怨，忽明忽灭的火花，细节。是的，最容易被忽略被轻视的就是细节，突然转变的语气、节节上升的火气，不冷不热的感情，敲敲打打的生活节奏，无一不是琐碎的，所有已婚或过了热恋的情侣，面临的巨大考验就是琐碎的生活细节，那么绵长繁冗，毫不起眼，却点点滴滴都是累积，能累积成寒气袭人三尺冰，也能成为暖意烘烘的心头热，就看懂不懂得珍惜。
赵咏华 最浪漫的事
This is a very touching story, please read it slowly, ....
When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms
On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.
This was the scene ten years ago.
The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.
Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.
Dew came into my life.
It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.
Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.
Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.
I moved Dew's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.
However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.
Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.
One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.
When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.
Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.
When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.
Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.
She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.
She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.
I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.
On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vague.
On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this.
I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.
Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.
I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life lacked intimacy.
I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious.
She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.
When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.
这篇是朋友转载的，通常朋友不会无故转载来我邮箱，就顺着指示慢慢地读。慢慢地读下来，就会不一样，因为体会是很个人的事。想起生活中，多少细节多少埋怨，忽明忽灭的火花，细节。是的，最容易被忽略被轻视的就是细节，突然转变的语气、节节上升的火气，不冷不热的感情，敲敲打打的生活节奏，无一不是琐碎的，所有已婚或过了热恋的情侣，面临的巨大考验就是琐碎的生活细节，那么绵长繁冗，毫不起眼，却点点滴滴都是累积，能累积成寒气袭人三尺冰，也能成为暖意烘烘的心头热，就看懂不懂得珍惜。
赵咏华 最浪漫的事
27 November, 2006
雨中听豫
近来午后有雨，想起齐豫这首歌。
雨中听豫，别有滋味。
Whoever finds this , I love you
On the quiet street in the city
A little old man walked alone
Shuffing through the autumn afternoon
And the autumn leaves reminded him
Another summer's come and gone
He had a long long midnight ahead waiting for June
The among the leaves near an orphan's home
A piece of paper caught his eyes
And he stood to pick it up with trembling hands
And as he read the childish writing
The old man began to cry
'Cause the words burned inside him like a brand
" 'Whoever finds this , I love you
Whoever finds this , I need you
I even got no one to talk to
So , whoever finds this , I love you "
Well , the old man's eyes searched the orphan's home
And came to rest upon a child
With her nose pressed up against the window pane
And the old man knew he'd found a friend at last
So he waved at her and smiled
And they both knew they'd spend the winter
Laughing at the rain
And they did spend the winter laughing at the rain
Talking through the fence
Exchanging little gifts they've made for each other
The old man wold carve toys
And the little girl would draw pictures of beautiful ladies
And they laughed a lot
But then one day, on the first of June
The little girl ran to the fence -- the old man wasn't there.
And , somehow she knew he was never coming beck
So she went back to her little room , took a crayon
And wrote :
" 'Whoever finds this , I love you
Whoever finds this , I need you
I even got no one to talk to
So , whoever finds this , I love you "
有点伤感，是吧。
我们的心田就是这样，有时干涸，需要雨水，充沛。
雨中听豫，别有滋味。
Whoever finds this , I love you
On the quiet street in the city
A little old man walked alone
Shuffing through the autumn afternoon
And the autumn leaves reminded him
Another summer's come and gone
He had a long long midnight ahead waiting for June
The among the leaves near an orphan's home
A piece of paper caught his eyes
And he stood to pick it up with trembling hands
And as he read the childish writing
The old man began to cry
'Cause the words burned inside him like a brand
" 'Whoever finds this , I love you
Whoever finds this , I need you
I even got no one to talk to
So , whoever finds this , I love you "
Well , the old man's eyes searched the orphan's home
And came to rest upon a child
With her nose pressed up against the window pane
And the old man knew he'd found a friend at last
So he waved at her and smiled
And they both knew they'd spend the winter
Laughing at the rain
And they did spend the winter laughing at the rain
Talking through the fence
Exchanging little gifts they've made for each other
The old man wold carve toys
And the little girl would draw pictures of beautiful ladies
And they laughed a lot
But then one day, on the first of June
The little girl ran to the fence -- the old man wasn't there.
And , somehow she knew he was never coming beck
So she went back to her little room , took a crayon
And wrote :
" 'Whoever finds this , I love you
Whoever finds this , I need you
I even got no one to talk to
So , whoever finds this , I love you "
有点伤感，是吧。
我们的心田就是这样，有时干涸，需要雨水，充沛。
23 November, 2006
哺乳有罪？
美国达美航空公司把一个哺乳的妇女驱赶下飞机，结果引发众怒，美国全国有31个机场的达美柜台昨天出现了大群哺乳的妇女和支持者，她们在柜台前喂孩子，逗留了一个多小时才离开。早报上登把哺乳妈妈赶下飞机 达美航空成众矢之的 。
2004年新加坡也发生过母亲在Esplanade哺乳被保安人员驱赶一事，可读：http://www.breastfeeding.org.sg/events/esplanade04/KAoct04-esplanadenurseing.htm
小孩肚子饿，哭了，作母亲的掀衣哺乳，天底下自然不过的事情，偏偏社会上就有人不能容！好啊，孩子饿了，得躲着喝奶不成？那，所有人都不必在“公共场所”吃喝，以示公平啊。
真是荒谬。
提倡什么哺乳？！
很多第一次为人母的妈妈包括我都面对当众哺乳的心理障碍，在人潮多的商场，在碧绿的植物园草地，在热闹的食阁，孩子肚子饿了，怎么办？当然要先喂饱孩子，可是上哪儿才好？看，首先想到的居然是“不好意思”，居然自己的脸皮，社会的规范看得比孩子还重要。不是的，是想着这城市处处都有哺乳室，方便害羞的妈妈，何不善加利用呢？我需要安静的角落，给我孩子喝奶而已，我不想应付周遭的眼光和环境，越是这样想，越是每次都依赖哺乳室；看，我无法摆脱在人前哺乳的心理障碍，虽然清楚应该不去在意，这是一件自然的事情。
真的是这样吗？
作起来不那么容易。
于是，每次临出门都预先查询该地有没有哺乳室，没有的话，附近有没有？最近的在哪里？真是给自己画地为牢。我辛苦，大家出门也战战兢兢，任何兴致都没了，尤其当孩子一哭，哺乳室又得轮候，真是焦躁不安，真的就恨为何没勇气？ 不过是给孩子喂奶而已，没人会特意驻足的......心里转了又转，还是没勇气，宁可苦苦轮候，自讨苦吃。
不是容易的事。 它不像上医院检查乳房，在场的只有医生和护士“相关人士”；大庭广众可是什么不相干的人都有，不相干的一群中你不知道哪些是好人哪些是居心不良的人。总之，没法若无其事。
我也曾经留意过其他的妈妈，她们有的很自然地哺乳，在食阁轻松地掀衣，抱着孩子喂哺，自然而轻松，丝毫不理旁人，专注地等孩子吃完，就离开座位。也有在移民厅碰到的就在座位上哺乳，虽然再走几步就是哺乳室，她却不管，孩子饿了，就该及时给他吃饱呀！
为自己的不争气感到惭愧。
后来，我决定试一试。先在回程的车上，算不得公共场合人来人往，但有其他人在场，我穿着哺乳衣给我孩子哺乳。起先，有点尴尬，但是孩子的哭声让我忘记一切，只想快点让她吃饱......
其实，面子没有那么重要。
何况，当众哺乳不是犯法，我，只是在以自己的力量喂我的孩子。
21 November, 2006
有本诗集只卖我五毛钱
星期六在百胜楼书展上匆匆一瞥，见了特价架上疏落的旧书，不自禁趋前翻翻，意外遇见了几本喜欢的，其中诗人原甸《香港风景线》诗集，1981年广州花城出版社出版，只要五毛钱。
旧书，非常朴素的封面设计，泛黄一册，没有时下花俏的包装，莫名其妙地就是合意。然而诗集已不如诗人的年代，那时诗人欢喜于〈有一本诗集卖我七十八块-诗记一件真实的事〉，尽管1980年，七十八块足够诗人四口人家三天饭菜，诗人却是得意洋洋，骄傲又自豪，因为“诗只有贬值/诗歌涨价这还是头一遭”。
二十六年后读来，尽是伤感。
这份伤感，诗人早已预知〈我们的诗死了〉：
“我们的诗死了
死在银行的电脑计算机里
死在昂贵的房租单上
死在像债卷一样的
学费、电费、水费和医药费的
雪片似的单据中......”
“我们的诗死了
死得这样的凄凉
死得这样的寂寞
没有花圈
没有挽联
没有哀歌
--连灵堂也没有
覆盖着我们的诗的尸体的是---
层层的白眼
层层的白眼
层层的白眼”
我们的诗，没死。
不过，读诗的人已濒临绝种。
旧书，非常朴素的封面设计，泛黄一册，没有时下花俏的包装，莫名其妙地就是合意。然而诗集已不如诗人的年代，那时诗人欢喜于〈有一本诗集卖我七十八块-诗记一件真实的事〉，尽管1980年，七十八块足够诗人四口人家三天饭菜，诗人却是得意洋洋，骄傲又自豪，因为“诗只有贬值/诗歌涨价这还是头一遭”。
二十六年后读来，尽是伤感。
这份伤感，诗人早已预知〈我们的诗死了〉：
“我们的诗死了
死在银行的电脑计算机里
死在昂贵的房租单上
死在像债卷一样的
学费、电费、水费和医药费的
雪片似的单据中......”
“我们的诗死了
死得这样的凄凉
死得这样的寂寞
没有花圈
没有挽联
没有哀歌
--连灵堂也没有
覆盖着我们的诗的尸体的是---
层层的白眼
层层的白眼
层层的白眼”
我们的诗，没死。
不过，读诗的人已濒临绝种。
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