“妈妈抱不动你咯，换爸爸抱，好吗？”
“不要。”
“妈妈头痛。”
“不要。”
“爸爸戴你下楼gaigai，妈妈在家休息。”
“不要。”
“爸爸帮你换尿片。”
“不要。”
“爸爸给你potty。”
“不要。”
“要妈妈。”
王菲--你快乐所以我快乐
动力火车--你快乐所以我快乐
版本不同。
快乐有时轻柔，有时接近呐喊。
都是快乐，两个人的快乐。
p/s：假如你有心/不小心掉进了蚂蚁窝，觉得这里还可以，那蚂蚁也会很快乐。
30 November, 2006
28 November, 2006
一场告白
To my married and unmarried friends:
This is a very touching story, please read it slowly, ....
When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms
On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.
This was the scene ten years ago.
The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.
Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.
Dew came into my life.
It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.
Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.
Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.
I moved Dew's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.
However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.
Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.
One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.
When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.
Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.
When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.
Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.
She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.
She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.
I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.
On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vague.
On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this.
I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.
Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.
I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life lacked intimacy.
I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious.
She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.
When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.
这篇是朋友转载的，通常朋友不会无故转载来我邮箱，就顺着指示慢慢地读。慢慢地读下来，就会不一样，因为体会是很个人的事。想起生活中，多少细节多少埋怨，忽明忽灭的火花，细节。是的，最容易被忽略被轻视的就是细节，突然转变的语气、节节上升的火气，不冷不热的感情，敲敲打打的生活节奏，无一不是琐碎的，所有已婚或过了热恋的情侣，面临的巨大考验就是琐碎的生活细节，那么绵长繁冗，毫不起眼，却点点滴滴都是累积，能累积成寒气袭人三尺冰，也能成为暖意烘烘的心头热，就看懂不懂得珍惜。
赵咏华 最浪漫的事
This is a very touching story, please read it slowly, ....
When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms
On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.
This was the scene ten years ago.
The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.
Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.
Dew came into my life.
It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.
Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.
Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.
I moved Dew's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.
However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.
Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.
One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.
When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.
Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.
When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.
Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.
She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.
She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.
I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.
On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vague.
On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this.
I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.
Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.
I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life lacked intimacy.
I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious.
She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.
When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.
这篇是朋友转载的，通常朋友不会无故转载来我邮箱，就顺着指示慢慢地读。慢慢地读下来，就会不一样，因为体会是很个人的事。想起生活中，多少细节多少埋怨，忽明忽灭的火花，细节。是的，最容易被忽略被轻视的就是细节，突然转变的语气、节节上升的火气，不冷不热的感情，敲敲打打的生活节奏，无一不是琐碎的，所有已婚或过了热恋的情侣，面临的巨大考验就是琐碎的生活细节，那么绵长繁冗，毫不起眼，却点点滴滴都是累积，能累积成寒气袭人三尺冰，也能成为暖意烘烘的心头热，就看懂不懂得珍惜。
赵咏华 最浪漫的事
27 November, 2006
雨中听豫
近来午后有雨，想起齐豫这首歌。
雨中听豫，别有滋味。
Whoever finds this , I love you
On the quiet street in the city
A little old man walked alone
Shuffing through the autumn afternoon
And the autumn leaves reminded him
Another summer's come and gone
He had a long long midnight ahead waiting for June
The among the leaves near an orphan's home
A piece of paper caught his eyes
And he stood to pick it up with trembling hands
And as he read the childish writing
The old man began to cry
'Cause the words burned inside him like a brand
" 'Whoever finds this , I love you
Whoever finds this , I need you
I even got no one to talk to
So , whoever finds this , I love you "
Well , the old man's eyes searched the orphan's home
And came to rest upon a child
With her nose pressed up against the window pane
And the old man knew he'd found a friend at last
So he waved at her and smiled
And they both knew they'd spend the winter
Laughing at the rain
And they did spend the winter laughing at the rain
Talking through the fence
Exchanging little gifts they've made for each other
The old man wold carve toys
And the little girl would draw pictures of beautiful ladies
And they laughed a lot
But then one day, on the first of June
The little girl ran to the fence -- the old man wasn't there.
And , somehow she knew he was never coming beck
So she went back to her little room , took a crayon
And wrote :
" 'Whoever finds this , I love you
Whoever finds this , I need you
I even got no one to talk to
So , whoever finds this , I love you "
有点伤感，是吧。
我们的心田就是这样，有时干涸，需要雨水，充沛。
雨中听豫，别有滋味。
Whoever finds this , I love you
On the quiet street in the city
A little old man walked alone
Shuffing through the autumn afternoon
And the autumn leaves reminded him
Another summer's come and gone
He had a long long midnight ahead waiting for June
The among the leaves near an orphan's home
A piece of paper caught his eyes
And he stood to pick it up with trembling hands
And as he read the childish writing
The old man began to cry
'Cause the words burned inside him like a brand
" 'Whoever finds this , I love you
Whoever finds this , I need you
I even got no one to talk to
So , whoever finds this , I love you "
Well , the old man's eyes searched the orphan's home
And came to rest upon a child
With her nose pressed up against the window pane
And the old man knew he'd found a friend at last
So he waved at her and smiled
And they both knew they'd spend the winter
Laughing at the rain
And they did spend the winter laughing at the rain
Talking through the fence
Exchanging little gifts they've made for each other
The old man wold carve toys
And the little girl would draw pictures of beautiful ladies
And they laughed a lot
But then one day, on the first of June
The little girl ran to the fence -- the old man wasn't there.
And , somehow she knew he was never coming beck
So she went back to her little room , took a crayon
And wrote :
" 'Whoever finds this , I love you
Whoever finds this , I need you
I even got no one to talk to
So , whoever finds this , I love you "
有点伤感，是吧。
我们的心田就是这样，有时干涸，需要雨水，充沛。
23 November, 2006
哺乳有罪？
美国达美航空公司把一个哺乳的妇女驱赶下飞机，结果引发众怒，美国全国有31个机场的达美柜台昨天出现了大群哺乳的妇女和支持者，她们在柜台前喂孩子，逗留了一个多小时才离开。早报上登把哺乳妈妈赶下飞机 达美航空成众矢之的 。
2004年新加坡也发生过母亲在Esplanade哺乳被保安人员驱赶一事，可读：http://www.breastfeeding.org.sg/events/esplanade04/KAoct04-esplanadenurseing.htm
小孩肚子饿，哭了，作母亲的掀衣哺乳，天底下自然不过的事情，偏偏社会上就有人不能容！好啊，孩子饿了，得躲着喝奶不成？那，所有人都不必在“公共场所”吃喝，以示公平啊。
真是荒谬。
提倡什么哺乳？！
很多第一次为人母的妈妈包括我都面对当众哺乳的心理障碍，在人潮多的商场，在碧绿的植物园草地，在热闹的食阁，孩子肚子饿了，怎么办？当然要先喂饱孩子，可是上哪儿才好？看，首先想到的居然是“不好意思”，居然自己的脸皮，社会的规范看得比孩子还重要。不是的，是想着这城市处处都有哺乳室，方便害羞的妈妈，何不善加利用呢？我需要安静的角落，给我孩子喝奶而已，我不想应付周遭的眼光和环境，越是这样想，越是每次都依赖哺乳室；看，我无法摆脱在人前哺乳的心理障碍，虽然清楚应该不去在意，这是一件自然的事情。
真的是这样吗？
作起来不那么容易。
于是，每次临出门都预先查询该地有没有哺乳室，没有的话，附近有没有？最近的在哪里？真是给自己画地为牢。我辛苦，大家出门也战战兢兢，任何兴致都没了，尤其当孩子一哭，哺乳室又得轮候，真是焦躁不安，真的就恨为何没勇气？ 不过是给孩子喂奶而已，没人会特意驻足的......心里转了又转，还是没勇气，宁可苦苦轮候，自讨苦吃。
不是容易的事。 它不像上医院检查乳房，在场的只有医生和护士“相关人士”；大庭广众可是什么不相干的人都有，不相干的一群中你不知道哪些是好人哪些是居心不良的人。总之，没法若无其事。
我也曾经留意过其他的妈妈，她们有的很自然地哺乳，在食阁轻松地掀衣，抱着孩子喂哺，自然而轻松，丝毫不理旁人，专注地等孩子吃完，就离开座位。也有在移民厅碰到的就在座位上哺乳，虽然再走几步就是哺乳室，她却不管，孩子饿了，就该及时给他吃饱呀！
为自己的不争气感到惭愧。
后来，我决定试一试。先在回程的车上，算不得公共场合人来人往，但有其他人在场，我穿着哺乳衣给我孩子哺乳。起先，有点尴尬，但是孩子的哭声让我忘记一切，只想快点让她吃饱......
其实，面子没有那么重要。
何况，当众哺乳不是犯法，我，只是在以自己的力量喂我的孩子。
21 November, 2006
有本诗集只卖我五毛钱
星期六在百胜楼书展上匆匆一瞥，见了特价架上疏落的旧书，不自禁趋前翻翻，意外遇见了几本喜欢的，其中诗人原甸《香港风景线》诗集，1981年广州花城出版社出版，只要五毛钱。
旧书，非常朴素的封面设计，泛黄一册，没有时下花俏的包装，莫名其妙地就是合意。然而诗集已不如诗人的年代，那时诗人欢喜于〈有一本诗集卖我七十八块-诗记一件真实的事〉，尽管1980年，七十八块足够诗人四口人家三天饭菜，诗人却是得意洋洋，骄傲又自豪，因为“诗只有贬值/诗歌涨价这还是头一遭”。
二十六年后读来，尽是伤感。
这份伤感，诗人早已预知〈我们的诗死了〉：
“我们的诗死了
死在银行的电脑计算机里
死在昂贵的房租单上
死在像债卷一样的
学费、电费、水费和医药费的
雪片似的单据中......”
“我们的诗死了
死得这样的凄凉
死得这样的寂寞
没有花圈
没有挽联
没有哀歌
--连灵堂也没有
覆盖着我们的诗的尸体的是---
层层的白眼
层层的白眼
层层的白眼”
我们的诗，没死。
不过，读诗的人已濒临绝种。
旧书，非常朴素的封面设计，泛黄一册，没有时下花俏的包装，莫名其妙地就是合意。然而诗集已不如诗人的年代，那时诗人欢喜于〈有一本诗集卖我七十八块-诗记一件真实的事〉，尽管1980年，七十八块足够诗人四口人家三天饭菜，诗人却是得意洋洋，骄傲又自豪，因为“诗只有贬值/诗歌涨价这还是头一遭”。
二十六年后读来，尽是伤感。
这份伤感，诗人早已预知〈我们的诗死了〉：
“我们的诗死了
死在银行的电脑计算机里
死在昂贵的房租单上
死在像债卷一样的
学费、电费、水费和医药费的
雪片似的单据中......”
“我们的诗死了
死得这样的凄凉
死得这样的寂寞
没有花圈
没有挽联
没有哀歌
--连灵堂也没有
覆盖着我们的诗的尸体的是---
层层的白眼
层层的白眼
层层的白眼”
我们的诗，没死。
不过，读诗的人已濒临绝种。
16 November, 2006
取洋名，请慎之
这城市的小孩多一出世或未出世前早已拥有洋名，不奇怪，反倒是正经八百将中文名抬出来的才奇怪。拥有洋名的小孩当然也有中文名，而且他们之中，中文名都请人算过笔画，请高人指点过，绝不马虎；也有一些就将中文命名大任完全授权祖父母，自己则充分掌握洋名之权。无论如何，命名总是一件大事，跟定一生，非得谨慎不可。
不久前，收到转呀转来的电邮，内容如下，博君一笑。
Why Chinese must not have English names
Anne Chang ( Mandarin)- Dirty
Anne Chin (Mandarin) - Keep quiet
Faye Chen (Mandarin) - Dusty
Carl Cheng ( Hokkien ) - Buttock
Monica Cheng (Hokkien) - Touching your buttocks
Lucy Leow (Hokkien) - You are dead
Jane Tan ( Mandarin) - Frying eggs
Suzie Leow (Hokkien) - Lost till death
Henry Mah (Mandarin) - Hate your mum
Corrine Tai (Hokkien ) - Poor fellow
Paul Chan (Mandarin) - Bankrupt
Nelson Tan ( Mandarin) - Bird laying eggs
Leslie Tong (Mandarin) - Rubbish bin
Carmen Tng (Hokkien) - Leg hair long
Connie Mah (Cantonese ) - Call your mother
Danny See (Hokkien) - Squeeze you to death
Rosie Teng (Hokkien) - Screws and nails
Pete Tsai (Hokkien ) - Nose droppings
Macy Koh (Cantonese) - Never die before
不久前，收到转呀转来的电邮，内容如下，博君一笑。
Why Chinese must not have English names
Anne Chang ( Mandarin)- Dirty
Anne Chin (Mandarin) - Keep quiet
Faye Chen (Mandarin) - Dusty
Carl Cheng ( Hokkien ) - Buttock
Monica Cheng (Hokkien) - Touching your buttocks
Lucy Leow (Hokkien) - You are dead
Jane Tan ( Mandarin) - Frying eggs
Suzie Leow (Hokkien) - Lost till death
Henry Mah (Mandarin) - Hate your mum
Corrine Tai (Hokkien ) - Poor fellow
Paul Chan (Mandarin) - Bankrupt
Nelson Tan ( Mandarin) - Bird laying eggs
Leslie Tong (Mandarin) - Rubbish bin
Carmen Tng (Hokkien) - Leg hair long
Connie Mah (Cantonese ) - Call your mother
Danny See (Hokkien) - Squeeze you to death
Rosie Teng (Hokkien) - Screws and nails
Pete Tsai (Hokkien ) - Nose droppings
Macy Koh (Cantonese) - Never die before
15 November, 2006
鸡腿给谁吃呀？
上一篇方说身为人母总想把最好的留给孩子，今天在早报领教了另一番论调，不完全赞同，但有可取之处。
尤今－鸡腿谁吃？
问问一个有趣的问题：“如果桌上有只白斩鸡，那么，皮滑肉嫩的鸡腿谁吃？”百分之百的朋友会给予我同样的答案：“当然是给孩子吃啦！”
根据华人的传统观念，孩子是家中的小皇帝，最好的、最香的、最可口的，通通通通都得给他，都得让他。遗憾的是：大家都没有想到，这样做，就等于是把一种全然错误的概念通过潜移默化的方式传达给孩子，让他以为他能够为所欲为地呼风唤雨；长辈呢，就该事事让步、时时让路。
曾看过这样一个活生生的例子：一名母亲和八岁的儿子坐在一块儿用餐，孩子将自己所不喜欢的食物当成垃圾，毫不客气地甩到母亲盘子里；然后，叉子一伸，大模大样地从母亲那儿将他喜欢的食物取过来，毫不顾及母亲的感受。至于母亲呢，笑眯眯地任由他去。她像是绚丽的“棉花糖”，孩子任性地把她搓来捏去，她狼狈地失去了自己的“形状”，心里却还兀自甜着、甜着……
有个故事，已老得掉渣，可是，说的人和听的人都没有从故事中得到应有的启示。故事中的妈妈，在孩子很小的时候，便刻意告诉孩子，她不爱吃鱼肉，只爱啃鱼头，结果，孩子欢欢喜喜地把嫩嫩滑滑的鱼肉吃个精精光光，妈妈呢，永远只能吮吮那多刺无肉的鱼头。孩子长大后，误以为妈妈真的喜欢吃鱼头，便永远以鱼头去圆妈妈无欢的梦。妈妈那则白色的谎言，他们听不懂。另一种情况是：他们知道妈妈也爱鱼肉，但是，自小养成那种“老子天下第一”的心态，早已无从也无法纠正了，满足自己的欲望才是最为重要的，爸爸妈妈喜欢吃什么，管它！
其实，就我认为：身为母亲的，如果喜欢吃鱼肉，就应该大大方方地与孩子一块儿享受那雪白嫩滑的鱼肉，倘若那天鱼大，大家便多吃一点；那天鱼小，大家就少吃一些，这才算是真正的“有难同当、有福同享”嘛！又何必自我委屈地隐瞒事实、自我虐待地啃食那“刺多肉少、弃之可惜”的鱼头！（当然，真正嗜食鱼头者又另当别论！）
说到“有难同当”，我就不由得想起发生于非洲的一则小故事。有个村庄，发生饥荒，饿殍遍地。一名母亲，决定带着三个稚龄孩子穿越茂密的森林，到另一个村庄去投奔她的亲戚。很不幸地，在幽深广袤的森林迷路了，不出几天，母子三人随身携带的干粮吃罄了。呼天，天不应；叫地，地不灵；正发愁时，发现了一棵树，树上长着浆果。母亲把浆果采了，让三个孩子吃；可是，自己死忍饥火，半颗都不碰，最后，活活饿死了。三个孩子靠着那袋浆果，又维持了几天。浆果吃完后，有两个不支倒下，最终获救的只有一个。
故事传开后，人人歌颂母爱伟大，可我却觉得那母亲很不智。“留得青山在，不怕没柴烧”，倘若她当时够理性地与稚龄孩子分吃那袋浆果，也许不久后便会在丛林里找到第二棵、第三棵、第四棵、无数、无数棵浆果树，这样一来，母子四人都能活命了。尔今，只因为母亲有感性，没理性，两个孩子便白白牺牲了。
由此可见，愚忠固然不行，愚爱也是万万不行的。
在我的家庭里，老者永远排第一。最好的、最香的、最可口的，永远先给他们；其次，才是我们夫妻俩；再次，才是孩子。
想想看，处于风烛残年的老人，人生道路已经走了大半，我们还不该好好地让他们颐养天年，尽情享受口腹之欲吗？至于我们自己，天天为生活拼搏，劳神费心，还不该好好地宠宠自己吗？孩子年纪小，前头的路，很长很长，要吃香喝辣，机会多的是，可为什么现在就把最好的、最香的、最可口的给他们？
“长幼有序”这样一种美好已极的伦常关系，必须通过现实生活里大大小小的事件具体呈现，切切实实地渗透入生活里的每一个细节去，也只有这样，这个优良的传统价值观才能一代接一代地传递下去。
不知你读了，有何看法？
尤今－鸡腿谁吃？
问问一个有趣的问题：“如果桌上有只白斩鸡，那么，皮滑肉嫩的鸡腿谁吃？”百分之百的朋友会给予我同样的答案：“当然是给孩子吃啦！”
根据华人的传统观念，孩子是家中的小皇帝，最好的、最香的、最可口的，通通通通都得给他，都得让他。遗憾的是：大家都没有想到，这样做，就等于是把一种全然错误的概念通过潜移默化的方式传达给孩子，让他以为他能够为所欲为地呼风唤雨；长辈呢，就该事事让步、时时让路。
曾看过这样一个活生生的例子：一名母亲和八岁的儿子坐在一块儿用餐，孩子将自己所不喜欢的食物当成垃圾，毫不客气地甩到母亲盘子里；然后，叉子一伸，大模大样地从母亲那儿将他喜欢的食物取过来，毫不顾及母亲的感受。至于母亲呢，笑眯眯地任由他去。她像是绚丽的“棉花糖”，孩子任性地把她搓来捏去，她狼狈地失去了自己的“形状”，心里却还兀自甜着、甜着……
有个故事，已老得掉渣，可是，说的人和听的人都没有从故事中得到应有的启示。故事中的妈妈，在孩子很小的时候，便刻意告诉孩子，她不爱吃鱼肉，只爱啃鱼头，结果，孩子欢欢喜喜地把嫩嫩滑滑的鱼肉吃个精精光光，妈妈呢，永远只能吮吮那多刺无肉的鱼头。孩子长大后，误以为妈妈真的喜欢吃鱼头，便永远以鱼头去圆妈妈无欢的梦。妈妈那则白色的谎言，他们听不懂。另一种情况是：他们知道妈妈也爱鱼肉，但是，自小养成那种“老子天下第一”的心态，早已无从也无法纠正了，满足自己的欲望才是最为重要的，爸爸妈妈喜欢吃什么，管它！
其实，就我认为：身为母亲的，如果喜欢吃鱼肉，就应该大大方方地与孩子一块儿享受那雪白嫩滑的鱼肉，倘若那天鱼大，大家便多吃一点；那天鱼小，大家就少吃一些，这才算是真正的“有难同当、有福同享”嘛！又何必自我委屈地隐瞒事实、自我虐待地啃食那“刺多肉少、弃之可惜”的鱼头！（当然，真正嗜食鱼头者又另当别论！）
说到“有难同当”，我就不由得想起发生于非洲的一则小故事。有个村庄，发生饥荒，饿殍遍地。一名母亲，决定带着三个稚龄孩子穿越茂密的森林，到另一个村庄去投奔她的亲戚。很不幸地，在幽深广袤的森林迷路了，不出几天，母子三人随身携带的干粮吃罄了。呼天，天不应；叫地，地不灵；正发愁时，发现了一棵树，树上长着浆果。母亲把浆果采了，让三个孩子吃；可是，自己死忍饥火，半颗都不碰，最后，活活饿死了。三个孩子靠着那袋浆果，又维持了几天。浆果吃完后，有两个不支倒下，最终获救的只有一个。
故事传开后，人人歌颂母爱伟大，可我却觉得那母亲很不智。“留得青山在，不怕没柴烧”，倘若她当时够理性地与稚龄孩子分吃那袋浆果，也许不久后便会在丛林里找到第二棵、第三棵、第四棵、无数、无数棵浆果树，这样一来，母子四人都能活命了。尔今，只因为母亲有感性，没理性，两个孩子便白白牺牲了。
由此可见，愚忠固然不行，愚爱也是万万不行的。
在我的家庭里，老者永远排第一。最好的、最香的、最可口的，永远先给他们；其次，才是我们夫妻俩；再次，才是孩子。
想想看，处于风烛残年的老人，人生道路已经走了大半，我们还不该好好地让他们颐养天年，尽情享受口腹之欲吗？至于我们自己，天天为生活拼搏，劳神费心，还不该好好地宠宠自己吗？孩子年纪小，前头的路，很长很长，要吃香喝辣，机会多的是，可为什么现在就把最好的、最香的、最可口的给他们？
“长幼有序”这样一种美好已极的伦常关系，必须通过现实生活里大大小小的事件具体呈现，切切实实地渗透入生活里的每一个细节去，也只有这样，这个优良的传统价值观才能一代接一代地传递下去。
不知你读了，有何看法？
14 November, 2006
饮食暴君
喂小孩吃饭已经谈过，没谈过或者说未反省的是自己。身为人母，谁不愿意将“最好”的都给孩子？这所谓“最好”的，自然指的是营养丰富，讲求均衡的饮食，除此之外心里更希望孩子能“来者不拒”“多多益善”，心里有了这样的要求，就注定每餐都得大战一回。
通常，败将是我。
忘了反省呀。
想吧，自己理由多堂皇，要你吃这些那些还不是为了你好？难道为了我好？还有，费了一番心思拟好菜单，洗手下厨，你却不赏脸，情何以堪？
可是，这样一番伟论何等熟悉。不就是当年自己拒绝接受的美意吗？
轰然发现，在饮食或喂食上，自己成了专制的暴君。
只顾将菜色往盘里堆，不理口味，知道了也不愿迁就，就是不要他养成偏食，又来了！不理胃纳，恨不得能再多一口，一小口就好，像“帮忙吃”他盘里的食物一事至今还未上演。
看，一点都不民主。
难道就不能把菜色都摆在他面前像自助餐那样任挑任选？
爱吃哪样拿哪样，多民主，多高兴。
专制的暴君想来想去，觉得还是不行。
不能让他无法无天，不能容忍素食主义独大，也不能容许肉食主义生根，更受不了苦行僧在这儿修行，吃芝麻一粒度日？绝食只进水，门都没有。
不行，这个阶段不行。要大一点，什么时候呢？
会到来的，很快。
现在，就让我继续当个饮食暴君吧。
通常，败将是我。
忘了反省呀。
想吧，自己理由多堂皇，要你吃这些那些还不是为了你好？难道为了我好？还有，费了一番心思拟好菜单，洗手下厨，你却不赏脸，情何以堪？
可是，这样一番伟论何等熟悉。不就是当年自己拒绝接受的美意吗？
轰然发现，在饮食或喂食上，自己成了专制的暴君。
只顾将菜色往盘里堆，不理口味，知道了也不愿迁就，就是不要他养成偏食，又来了！不理胃纳，恨不得能再多一口，一小口就好，像“帮忙吃”他盘里的食物一事至今还未上演。
看，一点都不民主。
难道就不能把菜色都摆在他面前像自助餐那样任挑任选？
爱吃哪样拿哪样，多民主，多高兴。
专制的暴君想来想去，觉得还是不行。
不能让他无法无天，不能容忍素食主义独大，也不能容许肉食主义生根，更受不了苦行僧在这儿修行，吃芝麻一粒度日？绝食只进水，门都没有。
不行，这个阶段不行。要大一点，什么时候呢？
会到来的，很快。
现在，就让我继续当个饮食暴君吧。
11 November, 2006
If You Hear No Road
举凡明、歌星，少有甘于平凡，莫不希望从芸芸众生中脱颖而出，阿牛是例外。
且不管是不是刻意塑造这样一种形象，他都是异数。 （这样一来，也使他脱颖而出了。）
总之阿牛给人的感觉就是从头到脚无比的kampung boy。
亲切，甚至已经不顾一切，自嘲。尤其是以下这首歌。
陳慶祥 阿牛 Speak My Language
不能否认，这样的小人物心声，比比皆是。
能够甘愿以小人物的形象唱出来，已经是勇气可嘉了，换了别人，能吗？
且不管是不是刻意塑造这样一种形象，他都是异数。 （这样一来，也使他脱颖而出了。）
总之阿牛给人的感觉就是从头到脚无比的kampung boy。
亲切，甚至已经不顾一切，自嘲。尤其是以下这首歌。
陳慶祥 阿牛 Speak My Language
不能否认，这样的小人物心声，比比皆是。
能够甘愿以小人物的形象唱出来，已经是勇气可嘉了，换了别人，能吗？
05 November, 2006
为食不落人后
昨晚到一霸级超市去，眼前是橙红黄绿的水果，数量多，堆如丘，鲜艳夺目。许多人围挤，双手又抓又掏，像这些水果统统都是免费的，直往塑料袋塞。这也没什么，不过显示市场一片大好，大家购物欲望高涨，可喜得很。
来到小橘子山丘前，更是高兴得不得了，只见人人男女老幼，忙个不停，翻翻找找，一个个将鲜橘子快速剥开，三两口就搞定一粒，又一粒，半买半吃，摆在地上的几只大纸箱，都装满橘子皮。
绝对不是试吃大会，也不是橘子促销会，只不过我瞧你吃我也吃，不吃白不吃，那么多人都在吃，我又怕什么？里边职员都没来喝斥，谁管得了，先吃为快，能吃几个是几个。要抓，大家一起中，不是我一人死，管它，我也有买啊，吃它几个又怎样？
我没带着相机，不然就能让大家看看六，七十岁的老人也不落人后地剥橘子，一瓣接一瓣送入口中。为老如此，外劳如此，总之那些橘子真是有脸得很，那么多人一起发神经相中它们，其他水果一定很不甘心吧，凭什么你橘子受落，我就被冷落？
之前，荔枝上市，一群人也强行将竹篮撬开，取出两三颗试吃，你一颗我一颗，不一会儿，就见底了，但情况不如这次猖獗。也不知道这家霸级超市到底在干什么？只眼开，只眼闭吗？
真的，发生在这里。
一个以法治闻名于世的城市。
小市民，一逮到小小的“偷吃”机会，虽知犯法，心里发毛，眼睛看到人多势众一起犯，就忘了，不是忘了法纪，而是忘记了自己的自尊。
来到小橘子山丘前，更是高兴得不得了，只见人人男女老幼，忙个不停，翻翻找找，一个个将鲜橘子快速剥开，三两口就搞定一粒，又一粒，半买半吃，摆在地上的几只大纸箱，都装满橘子皮。
绝对不是试吃大会，也不是橘子促销会，只不过我瞧你吃我也吃，不吃白不吃，那么多人都在吃，我又怕什么？里边职员都没来喝斥，谁管得了，先吃为快，能吃几个是几个。要抓，大家一起中，不是我一人死，管它，我也有买啊，吃它几个又怎样？
我没带着相机，不然就能让大家看看六，七十岁的老人也不落人后地剥橘子，一瓣接一瓣送入口中。为老如此，外劳如此，总之那些橘子真是有脸得很，那么多人一起发神经相中它们，其他水果一定很不甘心吧，凭什么你橘子受落，我就被冷落？
之前，荔枝上市，一群人也强行将竹篮撬开，取出两三颗试吃，你一颗我一颗，不一会儿，就见底了，但情况不如这次猖獗。也不知道这家霸级超市到底在干什么？只眼开，只眼闭吗？
真的，发生在这里。
一个以法治闻名于世的城市。
小市民，一逮到小小的“偷吃”机会，虽知犯法，心里发毛，眼睛看到人多势众一起犯，就忘了，不是忘了法纪，而是忘记了自己的自尊。
03 November, 2006
02 November, 2006
重温月光
許美靜 - 城裡的月光
凉夜。
似乎一切都静下来了，足够让人沉静地回顾一下。
过去的生活，人事，酸甜。
月光冷而朦胧。
让我想起在另一个城市，生命中第一个异乡，少了家人亲友的许多个夜，到底怎么度过？记忆真浅，需要借助一些引子，比如歌声比如眼泪比如惊心动魄比如刻骨铭心的事。
眼前的纷扰太繁太频，很少人愿意回顾一下，也许更多人觉得反正往事就像沙滩足迹，水过无痕，何必叨念于心？然而有些事，不经意就会再度碰面。磷光片闪，就这么窜会来，很恍惚，不知道是不是真的发生过还是自己编造的？
记忆不是常常靠得住的。
但是有些人，确实难忘。也不舍得遗忘。
城里的月光是大学时的“背景歌曲”了。
好怀念。
凉夜。
似乎一切都静下来了，足够让人沉静地回顾一下。
过去的生活，人事，酸甜。
月光冷而朦胧。
让我想起在另一个城市，生命中第一个异乡，少了家人亲友的许多个夜，到底怎么度过？记忆真浅，需要借助一些引子，比如歌声比如眼泪比如惊心动魄比如刻骨铭心的事。
眼前的纷扰太繁太频，很少人愿意回顾一下，也许更多人觉得反正往事就像沙滩足迹，水过无痕，何必叨念于心？然而有些事，不经意就会再度碰面。磷光片闪，就这么窜会来，很恍惚，不知道是不是真的发生过还是自己编造的？
记忆不是常常靠得住的。
但是有些人，确实难忘。也不舍得遗忘。
城里的月光是大学时的“背景歌曲”了。
好怀念。
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